Brain Atrophy
There’s a part of me missing. Maybe not missing, but untrained? A “muscle” atrophied. Through the practice of weightlifting I’ve come to understand that there are many parts of me that I have not given enough consideration toward. I can tell when there is a power imbalance in my physical muscles, but for some reason it’s more difficult when the imbalance is in your mind. I’ve got a problem with the way I think, the way I act. A quintessential part of my personality has been absent in my life of late. It’s hard to exactly identify what it is, but let me make my best effort to name and shame. My drive. My ambition. My willingness to go out of a limb, to seek discomfort and conquer the unknown. Complacency is one of the most debilitating characteristics, a truly unfortunate trap any individual can fall into. I know not necessarily why I’ve fallen into this trap, other than the inevitability of being such a creature of habit that truly enjoys digging ruts of activity of which I cannot get out. Problem is, I enjoy new experiences, and I enjoy the feeling of freedom one gets when they leave the house to venture out into the unknown. So what’s stopping me from doing that?
Brain Gym
Where do you think your personality lives? Up top somewhere, in that big bran of yours of course. The human brain is such a beautifully complex system, but with complexity comes the opportunity to break. Because of its incredible ability to rebuild itself, or let’s say mend itself, we often go through life with a partially busted brain. Your brain isn’t a muscle in the conventional sense, but it acts often quite similarly to a muscle in the way it needs to be trained to retain its strength. Cognitive atrophy is no joke, and if you choose (or unconsciously derelict) to disregard parts of who you are, those parts won’t work as good. I think as we age, it is common to leave parts of yourself behind. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. If you notice a part of you weakening, or breaking down, you have a chance to repair it. For muscles that means targeted exercise, for the brain, all the same. Exercise kinda sucks though, especially if you’ve only just discovered that the particular target muscle has atrophied to a great extent. Not many people enjoy doing hard things, our brains aren’t naturally programmed for that, it takes considerable effort to train your brain for that. But I want to be strong. I want to craft and smith myself into a man of distinct character. For my body, I go to the gym, but where do I go to strengthen my mind? Please nobody say a Buddhist temple, however, that does sound kinda cool.
Risk Taking Behaviour
I’ve been called a risk taker before. What does that even mean? Is it positive or negative? Honestly, that probably depends on the thing you are taking a risk on. Why is it that I feel so capable of taking risks on the bike or behind the wheel, but not so much in social settings or out in the world? Am I afraid, or just weak? Both? Shit, I don’t know. Regardless, risk taking is a part of me that I actually really enjoy. Someday it will kill me, but until then, I’m having a blast. The big question still remains unanswered, how can I harness my risk-taking nature and put it to use on this part of me I’m so obviously weak in. How can I take that energy and guide it to strengthen my atrophied ambition? Hmm. Like a cardboard box in need of recycling, let’s break it down.
Victimizer and Victim
Get over yourself. What I mean by that is, don’t belittle yourself for being weak. There’s really no use in beating yourself up over the fact that you aren’t who you want to be. To acknowledge the issue is enough, to harm your psyche is really overkill. Counterproductive for sure. Move past the “woe is me”, stop playing the victim and the victimizer. How you gonna go to court and sit behind two stands as the plaintiff and defendant? Judge is going to look at you like you’re some kind of fool, because you are. Only a fool would blame themselves for hurting themselves to the point of never stopping hurting themselves. Like, just stop. You’re better than that. Say whatever you need to say, tell yourself whatever you need to hear. May it be; “be a man”, “suck it up”, “get over it”, or simply, “stop”. You need to get past the fact that you are where you are, and get to the part where the dreams of a brighter future are not seen as dreams but potential realities.
Prove It
As my boy Shia would say, “Don’t let your dreams be dreams, DO IT”. Lmao, poor guy. Another wild mf once said, “name one genius that ain’t crazy”. Oh Ye. Regardless of how nuts both those homies are, their points, on occasion, are valid. In this instance, Shia is right. You’ve got to Nike that shit, Just Do It. As discussed in a previous post about getting yourself back on track, get back on the path and move forward with intention. Give yourself some grace, make it easy on yourself and do it. Believe in yourself, nobody else will until you do. Prove it to yourself. Prove it. I fuckin dare you. Until you do, you’ll be stuck in that rut, weak and embarrassed. Don’t be that guy. I want you to wake each morning with some carpe diem type shit. Go prove to yourself that you can be who you want to be. “The world is yours.”
Stand tall, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.