A Year Without Posting
Okay, I know, I’m a piece of shit. I legit didn’t post anything all year long. Hell, the last thing I put up here was mid 2018, so it’s been way longer than just a year. I want to give you an update on where I’m at, and let myself indulge in a bit of self-love through this Note To Self.
Pittsburgh, PA
First and foremost, the biggest thing that happened in my life since last posting is my big move.
I realized only 10 months into my job in San Francisco that there was no future for me there. As much as I loved the city, it was completely unaffordable. Not to mention so many of my hobbies were so difficult to exercise, like hiking and backpacking. I started getting sick of all the concrete.
My company has its main office in Pittsburgh, and when I heard from my boss that ATG would keep my salary the same if I moved, I couldn’t leave town quick enough. I left my apartment, packed my truck to the brim with all the shit I owned, and drove. 2 days and nearly 3,000 miles later, I arrive in PGH, Julia in tow.
With no place lined up, I stayed in an AirBNB for a week to get my bearings, and started looking for an apartment. A fellow SF coworker was thinking of making the move as well, and we decided to try and find a place for us both to share. Going from a nearly $2,000 ~300 square foot apartment in the Tenderloin to a $500 ~1,000 square foot row home 5mins from work; this already was looking like a great idea. I had a roommate, which wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but we maintained civility up until the last month. I could not have been more fortunate to find such a polite and respectful roommate in Oliver, and I’m thoroughly grateful for his cooperation with my often not-so-stable self.
Julia
Julia helped me move in, set up my life in a new place, and begin a new journey. Little did I know at the time, but our journey together was near its end. What a tremendous rollercoaster of a relationship. We were not right for each other, and we knew it. We fought, we wept, we even tried breaking up, just to fall back in love after a week long vacation we had planned together. She offered me so much love and affection, and I soaked it right up. I loved her more than I loved myself. Therein lies the crux. I had fallen into the same mistake as before. I never learned that you can’t have a healthy relationship if you don’t first love yourself.
I neglected time, neglected myself, and the relationship deteriorated into only hardship, so we split. The breakup still weighs a bit heavy on my mind. I really couldn’t believe I had made the same exact mistake as I had with Michele. Only this time was going to be different. I had to learn to love myself, and that had to start with my body.
Biking
I had been eying an abandoned bike in my company’s bike shed for many months preceding the split. The day after, I decided to steal it. I told myself that if anyone came asking, I would glady hand it back over. I rode it everyday, tuned it up, and a few weeks later that someone came asking haha. I returned my stolen good and immediately bought a new, way better bike. I was addicted.
I’d bike 20-30miles a day, honestly fueled by my incendiary self hatred. But it also brought me great joy. I hadn’t rode a bike since I was a young teen, and I must have forgotten how much I loved it. I didn’t stop skating entirely, but I now most definitely favor the pedals to the push.
With a better diet, and the insane miles I was putting in, I ended up losing nearly 30 pounds 190->160. Not to mention how strong I was getting. I rode on streets and bike paths, but by far my favorite rides were on gravel and dirt. I bought bags that strapped to the bike and I soon found myself riding 100s of miles into the wilderness to experience my newfound love: bikepacking.
When I wasn’t out riding in the forests of the northern Appalachian I joined a few group rides in PGH. That’s where I got a bit of a taste of racing, and oh man was I hooked. I signed up for two races, one street then one gravel. Just before the road race I got in a horrific accident where I was destroyed by some jackass motorist. I missed that race, but I healed and was able to ride in the other. Funny story about that race, I also crashed. Instead of breaking myself however, I broke my bike. I got a DNF, and had to get driven to the finish line. What I found when I got there were all the top riders who had already finished. As I bandaged myself I marveled at their strength and vowed that I would finish next year. Someday I will be in contention, but in the meantime, I keep riding.
Home Ownership
As my rental lease was nearing completion, 2 months remained, Oliver and I had a falling out, and I knew it was time for me to move on. I’d been saving up to purchase a home, but wasn’t exactly expecting to be in the predicament I found myself in. I only had a little over a month and a half to find a realtor, tour properties, find a place, put down an offer, than go through the motions of purchase. It was no easy feat, but I knew what I wanted. After touring about 5 houses I found the right place. The perfect size for me, beautifully remodeled, large yard for a garden, fantastic neighborhood, great views, garage for working on my bike, driveway and plenty of parking for my truck, adjacency to the Three Rivers bike trail that takes me to work in 20min, and so many other fantastic pros.
The purchase was a tad stressful, but I’m happy I got the place for so cheap (coupled with a ridiculously low interest rate on my mortgage). I should have it completely paid off in about 6 years! It’s surreal honestly. I’ve found so much enjoyment in fixing up the property, whether it is fixing a wall leak in my shower, converting electrical outlets and panel work, repointing my brick facade, clearing out my jungle of a back yard, or general handy work around the house. I love home ownership, I have the power to do just about whatever the hell I want. Without a doubt, I can see myself living here for a decade. The only thing stopping me is the potential wife and kids down the road. But now that I have worked on this house, and learned so much about what it takes to make a home, I can see myself picking up a few more properties and renting them out. We will see, I kinda also want to build a cabin in the woods. Matter of fact, that sounds way more fun, we’ll see.
Closing
Welp, that’s just about everything I wanna share for now. I have a bunch of biking/house vids that I will upload at some point. Hopefully 2020 will be a year of more posting. Until then, I love you James, keep up the great work. Proud of you.